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 This is so funny some of the content may be offensive

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oddball
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PostSubject: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:26 pm

First topic message reminder :

Ok Willow here you go!

Gardening made easy!
An old man living alone in South Armagh,
whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison,
didn't have anyone to dig his garden for his potatoes.
So he wrote to his son about his predicament.
The son sent the reply, "
For HEAVENS SAKE,
don't dig the garden up, that's where I buried
the guns!!!!!"

At 3 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers
turned up and dug the garden for 3 hours,
but didn't find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him
what had happened, asking him what he should do now?
The son sent the reply: "
NOW plant the potatoes!"

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Mon Feb 27, 2017 10:21 pm

Two 11 year old boys in Rome came home with a 20-euro-bill and a 50-euro-bill. Their mom asked them how they managed to get a hold of so much money.

“We were standing outside the brothel,” one of the boys said, “when an old man walked out. We told him that we knew where he had been, so he gave us 20 euros so we’d keep quiet.”

“Then we followed the old man,” said the other boy, “and when he got home we ran up to him and told him that we knew where he lived, so he gave us another 50 euros so we’d keep quiet.”

“Such dreadful behavior! What you’re doing is sinful,” exclaimed the mother, “off to the church with you to confess your crimes.”

The boys did as they were told and went to the church. A while later they came back with an additional 100 euros – because now they knew where the old man worked… La

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Mon Feb 27, 2017 10:32 pm

La La

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Fri Mar 03, 2017 1:35 pm

La La La

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and said.... 'Captain Harvey has asked me to annou...nce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.' On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines when I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.' She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.' To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, witch' La

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:23 pm



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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:36 pm

Drunk Drunk Drunk Drunk 'Soup of the day'

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:21 pm

La

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:22 pm

g Abso fecking lutely

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:32 pm

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says
"You know what I want, don't you?"
"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole feckin' bed by the looks of it!" g
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Wed Apr 12, 2017 1:52 pm

La

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Wed Apr 12, 2017 4:02 pm

Love it Brian
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Thu Apr 13, 2017 9:20 pm

La
This actually happened to an Englishman, in France, who was totally drunk.

A French policeman stops the Englishman's car and asks if he has been drinking.

With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malts scotches thereafter.

Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcohol-test (breath test) the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed completely hammered.

He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French Law, he is going to be arrested.

The Englishman answers with a bit of humor, "No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and my wife is driving . . . on the other side?

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Thu Apr 13, 2017 9:22 pm

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Thu Apr 13, 2017 9:23 pm

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Fri Apr 14, 2017 6:17 pm

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La

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   Fri Apr 14, 2017 6:19 pm

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